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Self-Compassion is the source of healing and thriving!

“Learning to embrace yourself and your imperfections gives you the resilience needed to thrive”

In my work of guiding people in their mindfulness journey over the last years, I’ve noticed just how much harsh self-talk, judgment and self-doubt many people can engage in. And I can totally relate to this, in the past, I didn’t treat myself kind for so many years. We can undermine ourselves in so many ways. Especially when things get tough, instead of treating ourselves nice we often add a layer of suffering by shame, self-blame and feelings of inadequacy. There are many reasons for this and I won’t delve into the causes here. But the good news and most relevant right now is that with awareness and compassion practices we can shift things around. Self-compassion is so powerful and transformative. Self-compassion significantly helps reduce anxiety and depression and enhance overall well-being and confidence.

I believe self-compassion, the ability to treat yourself the way you would a good friend who is having a hard time, is a key to healing old and present wounds (which are connected) and breaking away from unhelpful patterns, usually variations of those that involve turning against ourselves be it generally or when things go wrong. When we heal the relationship with ourselves, we can heal our relationship with others, our environment, the world. Self-compassion is NOT selfish but the foundation to being more compassionate to others without depleting ourselves in the process. It actually starts with ourselves and when our own cup is full we can gradually extend our compassion from inside out.

Please join me for one of my upcoming self-compassion workshop series and learn tools to increase your self-compassion.

For more information (including guided practices ) about self-compassion, check out www.self-compassion.org

For inspiration about self-compassion please have a look at this TedTalk from Kristin Neff, co-founder of the Mindful Self-Compassion Program together with Chris Germer.

 

Love, Vulnerability & Strength are at the heart of our humanity!

Yesterday evening I had the pleasure of hosting a meditation evening at the Amsterdam Mindfulness Centre. I guided a number of self-compassion practices which seemed to be exactly what was needed. We ended the evening with a guided reflection around values and uncovering meaning. Participants shared what qualities or attributes they valued in someone they admired. Interestingly the person they admired was either their mother or best friend and had been through very significant hardship. Read for yourself the list below (apologies for the sloppy handwriting…) : it is all about LOVE, VULNERABILITY and STRENGTH. They come together and at the end of the day are really what matters most!

 

Mindfulness for Life Podcast : Basics, Benifits and Getting Started

You may be somewhat familiar with mindfulness and know it has something to do with calming the mind and stress relief however that may still feel slightly vague. To find out more and demystify mindfulness, tune in to this podcast where I explain what it really is about, mention some of the key benefits it can bring and give some tips on getting started. Hope you enjoy and it sparks your curiosity enough to begin wherever you are 🙂

 

Keep an open mind and a fresh perspective – Cultivate a Beginner’s Mind

Beginner’s Mind is a very important aspect of mindfulness, a mind free of expectations and judgments. Beginner’s mind invites us to look at things as if we were seeing them for the first time, as a small child, full of curiosity and wonder and amazement. Recall the Socratic conception of wisdom: knowing that one doesn’t know. If we have the answer already, then there is no need for us to look; we stay stuck in the same mind-set, reacting to things as always, nothing ever changes. Living as if we always “know” keeps us out of the present, and living in the past. It doesn’t allow us anything new, no surprises, no insights, no discoveries, it keeps us frozen in the judgments of the past. Beginner’s mind can help us to see things in a new light and open us to the unique potential of every moment of our life.

 

How 8 week mindfulness meditation changes the brain

A Harvard research finds that participation in an 8 week MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) program with less than half an hour daily meditation resulted in significant differences in participant’s brain structure. A thickening of a number of different regions of the brain associated with learning and memory, emotional regulation, sense of self and perspective taking was observed whilst the amygdala, known to play an important role in anxiety and stress, showed decreased grey-matter density.

Click here for the full article in the Harvard Gazette.

Benefits of Mindfulness

Some of the benefits of Mindfulness described by Professor Mark Williams (Oxford Mindfulness Center). With mindfulness, brain patterns evolve: empathy and compassion increases. The amygdala, the part of our brain triggering fight and flight responses, is inhibited with mindfulness. Mark Williams has co-developed the MBCT (Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy) to help people with depression. MBCT has now become one of the preferred treatments for depression in the UK and a number of other countries.

“Just breathe”

Our life starts and ends with a breath. Our breath is amazingly powerful, it keeps us alive and well every second of the day. Usually we don’t pay any conscious attention to it, unless we start meditating.

How we breathe profoundly affects our physical and mental health, how we perform and how we age. Good breathing habits are essential to our wellbeing and vitality and contribute to calm, focused attention, creativity and peak performance. The breath plays an extremely important role in meditation and in healing. Becoming aware of the breath immediately brings us right into the present moment and anchors our awareness into the body and we can tune into our life energy. A few moments of noticing the breath can bring calm and restore balance and stability to the body and mind. Breathing with an attitude of kindness through difficult moments, physical pain or stress, intense emotions such as anger or fear is one of the most healthy habits we can develop. If one can discover the power of the breath at a young age, like these beautiful children in the video it is really a gift. The good news is that it is never too late:)